Hello Friends,

Summer is here and life is very busy. The kids finished out the school year back on May 18th. Nathan and Gretchen both graduated from college (University of Alabama) on Saturday May 12th, and 4 days later Zach graduated from high school. That occurred on Katelyn's birthday! Three days later we had our 28th wedding anniversary (celebrated on a softball field!) Throw all of these big events in between two weekends of Hannah's softball tournaments!! Can we all say H-E-C-T-I-C!?! We'll be softballin' all summer, and the kids are going here, there and everywhere!

A health update -
It has been 2½ months now, since I was hospitalized. I'm feeling much better now. I'll share some amazing stats with you all.
* Total cholesterol 2 months ago - 281
* Total cholesterol today - 111
* LDL (the bad cholesterol) 2 months ago - 218
* LDL (the bad cholesterol) today - 60

Pretty drastic, huh! My doctor was extremely happy. In 2½ months I have lost about 18 pounds. According to my doctor's wishes, I still have about 22 pounds to go. She had wanted me to lose about 40 pounds but if I can lose 30, I'll be very happy with that. I'm still continuing on the low cholesterol diet. With summer here, and us going to ball tournaments every weekend, it's harder to stay on course, but I'm trying. It means my weight loss has come to a standstill - if I can just hold steady and get through the ball season! I was on a good rountine of daily trips to the gym, which is also harder to maintain with the kids at home now. I'm missing some days and I know the key is controlling portions/calories and getting enough exercise in daily, to burn calories. It's just harder to do in the summer. UGH!

I was seeing doctors weekly for a while, but all that has slacked off as well and I am so glad! They never could really come up with anything definitive without doing the heart cath, and they elected not to put me through that at this time. That would be the next step if the pain reoccurs. Hopefully it won't!

So basically all is well with me at this time. We're just extremely busy around here! I hope you are doing well in your little corner of the world. I am very grateful to those of you who continue to remember me, to care, to drop by to check on me - thank you so much. I feel so out of touch but I think of my friends so often! The computer just doesn't see as much of me as it used to. I can't afford (healthwise) to be sitting here so much. But I do miss you all. Now and then I come on at night and sneak in some visits! : ) I try to come by and check your blogs at least a couple of times a month. Maybe one day I can find a better balance and spend a little more time on here.

I hope you all are having a wonderful summer! Take care everybody! Until next time...

Hello Friends,

WOW!! I have almost forgotten how to code my entries, it has been so long! It's been a rocky several months since I have been here. Some of you may have heard already - I haven't felt very well for several months. It's a rather long story, but it culminated about 3 weeks ago when I had some heavy pain in my left arm all that weekend. The aching just wouldn't let up. Along with it, I had a bit of tightness in my chest. So I called my brother in-law who is a physician in Alabama and he urged me to get straight to my doctor when she opened the next morning. So I did that. Well, she was alarmed by my symptoms as well, and while in her office those symptoms progressed. What a trip that was! She hurried down the hall and came back with a handful of baby aspirin and a bottle of nitroglycerin pills. About 30 seconds after the nitro, the room started spinning, but the pain only worsened. This greatly alarmed my doctor so she sent me over to the hospital for some tests on my heart. This was Tuesday, March 13. The next day I had some more tests - the main one being part 2 of the Nuclear Stress test.

I came home from the test, exhausted - wiped out for the remainder of the day. She allowed me to go home against her better judgment, with that bottle of nitroglycerin pills in my pocket. That evening while preparing supper, I began having chest pains which wasted no time in getting quite rough to bear. Long story short - I was in the ER an hour later and then things got really bad! It took them about 5 hours (and a nitro patch over my heart, and a shot of morphine, and an iv of nitro, and a 2nd shot of morphine) to get me stable and comfortable. I arrived in the ER just before 8:00 pm that evening, and by 1:30 a.m. was finally comfortable. At 3:15 in the morning, they admitted me to the Cardiac Unit.

I had about 2 hours of rest, and then daylight came and more tests... Well, it's a really long story, so I'll skip over it and get to the end. The tests on my heart showed that my heart had not sustained any damage despite the very severe pain I had been in on Wednesday night.. and the scary episode in the ER when my heart went wacko and all the monitors attached to me went wacko, and it felt like some giant hand suddenly reached into my chest and squeezed my heart until it felt like it was about to explode and just go SPLAT!! UGH! Terrible pain! I remember clutching my chest and crying out "my heart! It's about to explode! HELP ME!!" and seeing the horrified expressions on medical personnel.. and over on my right, seeing Bobby with the same horrified expression. It's something I hope I NEVER experience again!

The doctors were puzzled that the tests showed no damage had occurred. They were very uneasy, not really having a diagnosis for the intense pain. Some things they did learn - my cholesterol was sky high. The bad cholesterol alone, the LDL was 218. Total was 281. I also had high levels of glucose circulating in my bloodstream - double the number it should have been, and well above the number where diabetes is diagnosed. SO I had some bad things going on in my body. My primary doctor wanted a heart catheterization done on me that Friday because blockage somewhere was strongly suspected with the squeezing my heart had endured, and with the high cholesterol. But my cardiologist was reluctant to do the heart cath, siting that it was risky and my other heart tests were normal. He could not justify putting me at risk with that procedure.

Well, I ended up not getting the heart cath because the doctors could not agree on doing it. So I was eventually released by my primary doctor who was very uneasy because I was going home with no diagnosis. She was upset about this. She gave me a good talking to and stressed that it was felt there was some blockage somewhere. If I didn't make some immediate and drastic lifestyle and diet changes, then I was at risk to drop dead. I'm at risk anyway, until I can get those numbers down in the safe zones and get some weight off.

I was put on a high dose of Lipitor while in the hospital, to bring down the cholesterol as fast as possible. I was also put on a low cholesterol diet while in the hospital, which has continued at home. I have to get my activity level way up. (Too many long hours at this computer have caught up with me)

I had my post hospital follow up this past week. In 13 days I had lost 5 pounds which pleased the doctor. She said my numbers were so high on the cholesterol that it had to be some genetic factors involved. It would not be that high on diet alone. So she informed me that I will be on Lipitor for life, also a full strength 325 mg aspirin daily. She started me on several supplements to protect my heart and strengthen it while I am working to get my numbers back to a safe level. She is still pushing for me to have a heart catheterization, although she said she didn't want me to end up with a stent or with having angioplasty (balloon procedure) because she felt that both of those things actually set up a person for a heart attack. Placing something in the artery sets up a place which attracts plaques, sticky platelets etc. A blood clot is more apt to set up where a stent is placed and then you have a heart attack situation. So she really doesn't want me to end up getting a stent put in.. or the balloon procedure which leaves scar tissue. But she wants to know where and how much blockage I have. I tell you, it's all scary. I don't want the procedure! She did tell me that with medicines, diet and increased physical activity, I can reverse the blocked arteries back to clear in about 18-24 months.

This coming week I have another appointment with the cardiologist, for an unhurried, unstressful, FULL evaluation. Last time I was there, I was in distress. I don't really know what all they will do.. but it will be aimed at trying to determine if a heart cath is needed, or if they feel safe in allowing me this time to reduce the blockage through medicines, diet and exercise. Two weeks ago they referred to me as a "ticking time bomb." That's never a comforting thing to hear! But I am committed to doing all I can to reverse this blockage myself. The diet is not bad - it's all good food. I'm on about 1100 to 1200 calories a day. Surprisingly, I am not starving either! The exercise is the tough part because when I walk, my legs are burning so that it makes walking very uncomfortable. This burning is the concern which leads doctors to suspect some blockage. I'm struggling to walk a mile now, and I used to walk 3 miles a day! So what I do is split it up right now. I walk a mile in the morning.. ride my bike about 2 miles in the afternoon and then try to get in one more 1 mile walk in the evening. If it weren't for the burning pain in my legs, this would be pleasurable. I carry my iPod with me and love listening to music. It's just that pain that is hard to deal with. Hopefully it will get better.

Soooo... I have a very different daily schedule nowadays. Very little computer time because sitting here is not helping my situation. So I try to only sit here at night when I allow myself that "down time." I have to eat on schedule and get in the exercise on schedule, and swallow a number of pills every day! UGH! Never been a pill taker so that is taking some getting used to. All in all, I am feeling a lot better than I was a couple of weeks ago. Seeing doctors a lot more than I wish to.. but hopefully that will ease up too. Sorry to have left you all hanging - for the past several months I have felt BAD! I didn't have the energy to do anything! I was really on a downward spiral which culminated in that chest pain and hospital stay. But like I said - things are slowly improving, day by day.

I don't know how often I will update here, but will certainly try to drop in more regularly than the past several months have been. I'll try to let you know as tests are done, how they turn out. Thank you to those of you who remained faithful in stopping by here, to check on me. I'm sorry for the lack of updating. Just wasn't well. I hope to do much better! For now, I need to get to bed. Another thing contributing to my ill health is severe lack of rest! Averaging 4 hours of sleep per day is not good for me, they said! : / It's 1:30 a.m. right now, so I think I have over done it tonight! Oh well! At least it is now Saturday, and I can hopefully sleep a little later.

Take care everybody! Until next time...

Hello Friends,

It's beginning to look a LOT like Christmas! Am I ready?? Why of course not! Am I ever??? Right about now I am wishing it was January already! Oh well.. it will come soon enough I guess.

Yesterday was the last day of school for my kids until they return on January 4th! Can you believe it? They let those anxious, hyper youngins out of school a full 10 days before Christmas! I don't know if we will survive it!

We have managed to buy a few things - not nearly all I wish I could do, but we do have a few things stashed in the closet. Bobby is working in Alabama this weekend so maybe we'll be able to buy a few more things before the deadline of Christmas Eve draws nigh!

There's not a lot going on around here, despite the fact that this is a busy month. We're homebodies so we don't have a lot of social activity, yet it seems the days are busy and they fly quickly by. I'm still in that season of not feeling up to writing very much. I miss it, but just don't seem to have the energy for it lately. Hopefully when the new year begins and things settle down, I can pick back up with my journaling. Today I just had so many of my online friends on my mind and heart and wanted to stop in here and tell you all how much I appreciate your friendship. Some of us have been friends for a number of years now and you are always in my heart, whether I take time to come here or not. I carry you with me!

Mildred - big hugs to you and thank you for the Christmas card! I received it this week! Thank you so much for your faithful abiding friendship over the years! Mildred is a dear friend that I met in an online cancer support group a number of years ago. We met due to sorrowful circumstances, but I have come to realize in so many difficult things in life - God always supplies grace and comfort and help to endure the difficulties. One of the most precious blessings is that of caring friends who understand and love us through all things. Mildred is one of those friends who has been so faithful in friendship. She has endured trials and heartaches, yet she has been such a positive, uplifting person in my life. She has a heart of GOLD! We may never meet here, but I have already put in a special request for us to be neighbors in heaven! : ) Mildred doesn't have a website, nor does she journal online - yet she visits me (even when I go through my quiet spells) and always leaves me a warm message to let me know I was on her mind! Merry Christmas Mildred! And thank you for the gift of yourself!

That's about it for now.. Merry Christmas to ALL of my online friends! Each of you have been a special part of my life. I am blessed to know you and share in your lives. I hope it is a peaceful day in your little corner of the world. Take care, stay well, stay warm - GOD BLESS YOU ALL!

P.S. I've been trying to visit you Chocolate Face... but the "door" was locked!

Take care everybody! Until next time...

Hello Friends,

We've just been busy with school and ball activities around here. Hannah's fall tournament softball is winding down. Our final tournament is this coming weekend. After that, there will likely be a couple of months off before we resume practice again, for the upcoming spring season. I want to say again, how much Hannah LOVES her new tournament team. This is the best move we could have made and I only wish we had done it sooner. Hannah has learned so much in such a short time with Coach Bubba and The Lady Lightning! We're looking forward to this coming spring! Her team won 1st place in the 14u division in the last tournament this past month. I'll let you know how we do this weekend! Hopefully we'll wind up the season with one more 1st Place trophy!

Zach's school has homecoming this week and Friday night he will be one of the escorts at halftime activities during the homecoming game. He looks SO handsome in a tux, let me tell you! Hopefully I can get some good pictures of him all dressed up and post some soon.

Yesterday I had an adventure! While on a bike ride last week, I spotted hundreds of butterflies at a local park. I wanted to photograph them but didn't have my camera along at the time, and there was a cold front moving in at the time. I had to endure a couple of rainy weather days and then some very chilly weather. I hoped when it warmed back up this week, to grab up the camera gear and go back over there in hopes of still finding a few butterflies around.

Well.. yesterday I finally made it back over to the duck pond where I had seen the multitude of butterflies on the wild flowers the other day. Yesterday the conditions were FAR different however! : / It was HOT.. there was NO breeze at all (hence the mosquitoes nearly carried me away!) There were not near as many butterflies this time either, and they were fluttering about, seldom settling long enough for me to even frame a shot, much less shoot. Oh well.. a lesson I know well - always have the camera WITH YOU.. it's most difficult to duplicate natural opportunities another time! : / Yeh yeh.. I know that!

While trying to follow one of the prettier butterflies I was walking along the path with my eye stuck to the viewfinder, staying fixed on that butterfly - just sidestepping along as the butterfly fluttered from flower to flower. I inadvertently stepped in an ant bed and of course the butterfly LIT at that point, so I stood very still and focused in! Of course I didn't know that I had stopped in an ant bed until this HOT feeling hit my lower legs. I looked down and my left shoe was completely covered with hundreds of angry ants! The right shoe was about half covered! My low cut socks were the same -the left completely covered and the right one, just about half covered. They were not yet up on the right leg, but were swarming the lower two inches of my left leg. Talk about seeing someone MOVE - AND FAST!! I moved FAST!! (snicker.. it's funny now, but it wasn't at the time!) I got those shoes and socks off in two seconds flat and was beating the ants off my legs with haste! Then I started beating the shoes half to death! (snicker)

Sheeesh, finally rid of the pests, I looked back toward where the butterfly had been. That sorry little critter had already moved on down the row of flowers about 10 feet ahead of me!

I did get a few shots - nothing spectacular.. but pleasing to view. These are of several different butterflies.. and all shots were composed with normal settings - NO macro. I just moved in as close and as quiet as I could - these are shot from actual distance. Enjoy....

Hello Friends,

Wow! Been a couple of weeks since I wrote anything here. Life has been busy! We had a fun weekend out of town at a softball tournament. Hannah's team came in first place in the 14u division! That was fun! They played very well against some stiff competition! The girls each received a "1st Place Tournament Champions" trophy in addition to the team plaque that Coach Bubba received! Very cool! Hannah is really enjoying being with her new team - very positive experience for us all.

We're at the end of the first 9 weeks grading period and moving right along in this school year. Zach and Hannah and Katelyn are all doing well. I'm still in mourning that this is Zach's final year. It's so hard to believe. Nathan and Gretchen are busy with their lives up in Alabama. Both are in school at the University of Alabama.. hopefully they will soon be finished. I don't see or hear from them as often as I'd like to.. but realize their lives are busy with school and work.

For about a month now, I have been trying to live more healthy. I tell you, it gets harder as you get older! It's more fun to eat as you please.. but your body tells on you for doing it! I haven't been dieting (don't believe in that!) but I have been trying to be AWARE of what I eat and make wise choices about what I eat. The most significant change is that I have begun a fitness program. I'm walking 2-3 miles several days a week. I've started working out at the gym again, thanks to my wonderful, sweet, best friend who loves me and gave me a year's membership for my birthday, so I could get myself in better condition! I want to get my bike out more often - just enjoy being outdoors and breathing fresh air, feeling the sunshine more often.. getting out of the house.

Sometimes being cooped up indoors can contribute to a sense of despair, depression, a darker outlook on everything going on in my life..etc. I FEEL BETTER when I get out, though some days it's hard to MAKE myself get out the door and into life out there! I spend a lot of time on the computer and phone, in interaction with cancer families. This is fulfilling, and yet demanding. Emotionally, it can be very heavy. I realize I need to set aside time for myself, my family - to enjoy the blessings of life. There is pain in this life.. but there is also joy, and I need to seek it.

BALANCE.. that's the key! And hard to achieve! But I am working on it... for my sake, for my family's sake, and so I can be better equipped to love and care for my cancer families.

It's a beautiful fall day here on the sunny Gulf Coast! My bike is begging me to take it out for a ride! I think I'll do just that!! Have a good day friends!! And Mildred, thank you so much for faithfully coming by here and checking on me, even when it's sometimes weeks between my sharing here. Thank you for sharing with me what's going on in your life as well. I love to read your messages and I do keep up with you through them. Thank you - for your friendship! Thanks to all of you who continue to come by here and check on me. I know my writing is very sporadic.. I do want to try to do better at sharing here.

Until next time...

Hello Friends,

GOOD GRIEF!!! Where does the time go???

It's been over a month since I have journaled here. I've written a little bit at the Myspace page, but not much. I have felt so uninspired to write lately. I just don't know - I seem to travel through my days but have little desire to contemplate them, reflect on them, write about them.

Everybody is doing ok here; things are as usual. Had a lot of car trouble here lately. I figured up, we have spent about 2500.00 on my car in the past 18 months and even now, it's ailing again. It needs a new front axle which will be nearly another thousand dollars. : ( I'm so tired of having car troubles but we just can't afford to get a newer one right now.

Bobby is so tired of hearing about car troubles, but what am I to do - drive it til the axle falls off and slings me off the road somewhere?? He said the other day that he is not putting another dime in that car. But he has to! We have two choices - either get rid of it, or fix it!! We can't replace it so the way I see it, HE HAS TO REPAIR IT! He has to keep it safe for us to transport ourselves in, daily. I understand the frustration he feels... but we don't have any choice. SIGH.. I guess to force him to action, I'm going to tell him that I want to drive his truck and let him take over the car. I HATE driving that old truck. It's a gas guzzler and I don't feel comfortable driving it. (I'm too little to see over the goofy dash!) But when he has to drive the car daily, and he is the one who has to put up with the problems it's having right now, then he'll have to have something done about it (hopefully.) I'll miss my cd player. : ( His just has a radio. UGH... I just need to win some contest where they are giving away a car as the prize!! YEP! That's what we need! LOL!

Well, guess I better get up from here and get this day going... another thing I am not very motivated about recently. I'm just tired, I guess - physically and emotionally. Maybe a good workout will pick me up! Think I'll go for one! I hope all is well in your little corner of the world today. Take care friends. Hopefully I will be able to visit you soon!

Hello Friends,

Yessssss... I'm STILL ALIVE!!!

I'm sorry to have alarmed some of you who check by here often and worried over my lack of posting. SIGH.. so much has been going on around here, too much to get into. DRAMA, and MORE drama... a few difficulities along the way that prevented my coming here to write... and sometimes I just plain lacked the emotional energy and desire to write. Sigh. We're all doing ok though.

Mildred and Nancy, I have received your emails. I know you both stop by here regularly, and have worried. Thank you both for writing and checking on me. Everything is ok. I'll write you both as soon as I can. Lisa girl, I know you stop by here fairly often too - everything's cool. To all the others who left messages in the comments - thank you for continuing to check in on me. I've seen all your messages and though I haven't posted in some time, not a day goes by when I don't think of you - and sometimes late at night when all was calm at last, I have peeked in on you - just to make sure all was well in your corners of the world.

School has started back here. The kids went back on Wednesday August 2, so I've been enjoying the time of solitude and doing my own thing instead of always catering to kids. I still haven't managed to get used to the early morning routine again though. UGH.. it's TUFF getting up at 5:40 in the morning, after a lazy summer! My problem is that I cannot go to sleep at night. So I'm up LATE, get about 3-4 hours of sleep every night, then go all day. I desperately need to give it up earlier every night but something in me cries out against going to sleep rather enjoy my nighttime. I love night, love to be alone and surrounded by peace and quiet. I am more alert at night. Just enjoy it more - but boy oh boy, the mornings are getting tougher by the day!

I plan to update more regularly now.. I plan to, REALLY! I do have a site on "Myspace" now - any of you friends who have your own "Myspace" site and want to come by and network with me there - it's located at: http://www.myspace.com/legacyofhope. This (here, not "myspace") will continue to be my main journal. I had several reasons for setting up a "Myspace" site - monitoring kids, mainly! But it IS sorta fun there! Some of you buddies of mine who don't have a journal or keep a blog - you should check out "Myspace" - it's really very easy to journal there! (BIG hint!) And I could come by and visit you there! : )

Well, guess I better get up from here and think about starting some supper. It's rare that we are home at night, so I'm looking forward to sitting at my own table tonight, and eating something besides that which comes in a brown paper bag! Again, thank you ALL for the sweet comments. Thanks for stopping by today and spending a few minutes with me. I hope all is well in your little corner of the world today. Take care friends. Hopefully I will be able to visit you soon!

Hello Friends,

We are SOOOO busy around here, I hardly ever get to journal these days. Since I last wrote, Zach seems all healed up from the hip fracture he sustained during the regular baseball season. He's playing this summer with his high school. They play in a summer league in June and July. Hannah is feeling much better after her collision with the fence a month ago, at an out of town softball tournament. This week I took some more pictures of the ear. After one month of healing, this is how it looks now.

Still not a pretty sight, huh! But it IS feeling a lot better!

Bobby seems to also be feeling ok. He'll see the urologist every 3 months for "maintenance" dilation of the neck of the bladder in order to keep it open. UGH! He dreads this unpleasant appointment, but it IS necessary in order to (hopefully) avoid more surgeries.

I'm just trying to keep up with the busy schedule we are on, with ball here, ball there - ball everywhere.. ALL THE TIME!! We played today. We are involved in a softball tournament out on the beach this weekend. We won two of our three games today and we play again at 9:00 a.m. If we win that one, we will go into the tournament championship game. We REALLY need to win!! We have come so close to winning it all.. come in tournament runners up, twice now. We WANT FIRST PLACE tomorrow!

After today's last game we were on our way home when traffic suddenly stopped on Back Beach Road. There was a wreck somewhere ahead. Seeing we would be sitting in this traffic for some time, we called a teammate on the cell phone, who was in the car right beside us on the road, and invited her and her mom to turn off and take a detour over to the beach with us! They agreed and followed us and we had a real nice time with the girls! They took those cleats off and played in the surf, cooling those hot, tired footsies! Us Moms did the same! It felt so good! I shot a few pictures of the girls and of Skylar and her mom. Their relatives live up north so I thought they would enjoy sending the pictures up to them! Here's a couple of the pictures I took...

Hannah and Katelyn


Teammate Skylar, with Hannah and Katelyn


All three girls having fun!

Aren't they cute! They had such a nice time out there, that last hour of daylight on the Gulf coast! And by the time we left, the wreck had pretty well been cleaned up so we were able to cross the Bay Bridge with little delay. We got home, got showers and the kids are all in bed now. I need to head to my own bed because we have an early start again in the morning - back across the bridge and over to the beach. We're taking our swimsuits with us tomorrow and plan to head back over to the beach AFTER the tournament is over. It should be fun!

On that note, I better say "Nite nite!" Again, I don't have the time to visit my journaling friends but I am thinking of you all. Thank you for the sweet comments. I assure you I have not forgotten you! Thanks for stopping by today and spending a few minutes with me. I hope all is well in your little corner of the world today. Take care friends. Hopefully I will be able to visit you soon!